Break my Fall
by thing.ray
Summary: She stared at me with wide eyes, that same concern and love for me that I didn't deserve filling them. I grimaced and balled my right hand into a fist, pulling it back. "I'm sorry." Sas/Sak - One-shot!


**Don't turn away  
I pray you've heard  
The words I've spoken  
Dare to believe  
Over one last time  
Then I'll let the**

**Darkness cover me**  
**Deny everything**  
**Slowly walk away**  
**To breathe again**  
**On my own**

**Carry me away**  
**I need your strength**  
**To get me through this**  
**Dare to believe**  
**Over one last time**  
**Then I'll let the**

**Darkness cover me**  
**Deny everything**  
**Slowly walk away**  
**To breathe again**  
**On my own**

_**Disturbed, Darkness**_

* * *

When I closed my eyes, I could see his face. I could see his cold, black eyes glaring down at me, telling me to hate him. I could see that, somewhere behind that expression that looked so terrifying on my older brother's face, he was telling me to run away and keep running, because nothing else would ever be enough. He was taunting me, his memory even going so far as to plague me in my waking mind, and I hated him even more for that very reason.

Everything had fallen into place now. Destiny had spoken, and now it was my time to stop running. I knew exactly what needed to happen in order for me to see my ambition come to fruition. I would begin down a dark path; a path that could possibly burn my bridge back home. My mind told me I didn't care if I wasn't allowed to come back after this, that it wouldn't be such a big deal, but my heart told me it would be the second worst thing to losing your family overnight.

I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling of the hospital room I had been in. Sakura sat beside me, staring down at her hands, obviously thinking about something. I rolled over, shaking the illusion from my mind with a laugh. Even at a time like this, she was present in my mind. I hated her, too. I wanted her to disappear, because it never failed that when I thought about my brother, my thoughts soon turned to her and her annoyingly bright smile and big green eyes. It was just another one of those things that wasn't necessary when one was seeking revenge. She was a nuisance; always getting in my way and trying to tell me what was best for me. None of them knew what I felt every day. None of them could even begin to fathom just what exactly ran through my mind.

It was a full moon tonight. I could clearly see it hanging high in the sky, casting an eerie light over the Hidden Leaf village. _Just like that night._

I shook my head and sat up, rubbing my eyes. It was coming back again; those terrible images of my mother and father, pale and lifeless, their blood smeared across the floor as if it were no more precious than the blood of a homeless beggar. I could see Itachi, standing in the shadows, his blood red eyes staring down at me, silently claiming me as their next victim. The terror was rising. My heart was pounding; _I was going to die._

"Stop!" I gasped, doubling over, clutching at my chest. "Stop this…"

I was a little boy again, staring up at his elder brother for answers and comfort, and receiving none of those things. I could see it all with perfect clarity, as if some unknown force had pressed rewind in my mind, showing me the reason why I needed to leave, to get out of this place. It was becoming too much to bear; as I grew older, my memories grew more frequent, more precise. The pain that came with it was incapacitating, and I wanted to rid myself of these feelings. I wanted to break every bond I had made in this god forsaken village. If this, if everything I had thought about went as planned, then maybe one day I could return. Maybe the burden upon my shoulders wouldn't be so heavy, and maybe the sword in my heart wouldn't be so sharp. Maybe I would be given a second chance.

"Unlikely," I muttered, sliding off the uncomfortable hospital bed. I pulled on my sandals and opened my window, staring down at the village, memorizing how peaceful it looked right at that moment. I forced away the images of the lifeless bodies everywhere, shaking my head at myself. This was why I needed to leave. It was becoming too much.

I likened my walk down the path that led to the exit of the village to the walk of shame. My reasons for leaving the village, in my opinion, were noble. I was an avenger of sorts; I needed to be stronger. These ties to this village would only pull me deeper down into darkness. If I let that take me down, if I let myself fall into the abyss, I knew I would never be able to pull myself out alone. At that point, if I ever got that far, I knew everyone would have given up on me. I would be a Rogue Ninja, doomed to walk in the darkness forever; I would fall and fall and fall forever, until finally, I gave up on myself and hit rock bottom. It would all be over then.

It seemed like a fitting end for me, being a relative of a cursed clan.

"Sasuke, this path leads to the exit." _She _said. I turned around to see her standing behind me, staring down at her hands, her short pink hair falling to hide her face. Sakura was as fragile looking as ever, with her pale skin being made paler in the moonlight, and her big green eyes conveying the worst kind of sadness. I grimaced and shoved my hands into my pockets, waiting for her to say something else, because I knew she wasn't going to state the obvious and then leave it at that. She insisted on being almost as annoying as Naruto.

"Where are you going?" She asked, taking a small step forward. "Did you get assigned to a mission?"

"No, I'm leaving." I said coldly. "Go back home, Sakura."

"You can't just leave." She said, her voice sounding a little hysteric. "What about all of our friends?"

I sighed. "I don't care about them. I'm going to find Orochimaru, and I'm going to get stronger and avenge my clan. Of course, someone like you would never understand. You're so annoying."

"That's so stupid, Sasuke!" She said angrily, balling her little hands into fists at her sides. Her eyes were glistening with the tears she was desperately trying to fight back. Sufficed to say, it was a painful sight. Sakura was never supposed to cry; her smile could be the highlight of any man's day, simply because she couldn't stay angry or upset for too long. She was perpetually happy, and my complete opposite.

"No, what's stupid is you trying to stop me!" I snapped, glaring at her, trying to hide the fact that this was making it even more difficult to leave. Why couldn't she just stay at home? It would have made leaving so much easier. I was fighting now. "Go home now, Sakura."

"You can't just leave…" she whispered, averting her eyes. "What about Naruto and Kakashi-sensei? What about me? Everything we did together, everything that we've been through, was it nothing to you? I can't believe that, Sasuke. I don't believe what you're trying to tell me. It doesn't feel right. You're set on this revenge, but will it really make things better? If you feel like it will… then… take me with you."

"What?"

"I want to go with you. If anything, I'll help you get your revenge. If it means that someday you'll come back and that you'll be happy, truly happy, then I want to help you. If… if you leave without me, I'll scream. I'll tell everyone where you've gone and I'll—"

I walked up to her and grabbed either side of her face, pulling her down to eye level. She gasped, her eyes widening at how close we were. I knew her feelings for me, and it was hurting me now to see that I was betraying her trust in me. I was betraying everyone's trust in me. But this was just something that needed to be done. Ever since that night, I knew something had to be done. I had been born for this; everything had been set in motion the day I had been born. Before the incident, I had never believed in anything like destiny, but now it was clear, standing before me. All I had to do was reach out and grab it.

I pushed Sakura's hair behind her ear, caressing her face. Her skin was warm to my cold fingers. I was still lying to myself, telling myself that I didn't feel the same. I knew there was something there; something that wanted me to tell her it was okay, and that nothing could change my mind. If she wanted to come with me, that was her own choice. But I couldn't let her do it. Unlike me, she had a bright future ahead of her. She didn't need me in it, darkening it up, making it hard to see. So long as I was here, so long as she stood by my side, her destiny was marred by darkness. I couldn't do that to her. It would be worse than anything I could imagine.

I leaned forward, stopping just before my lips touched hers. I could feel her breath and I closed my eyes, trying to stop myself before I went any further. _This is only going to make it harder_, I told myself. _This is not what you want. Back away now and you can forget. Stop now and you never have to live with _that _pain, Sasuke. Do it now._

I grimaced, and ignoring my thoughts, closed the distant between us. Her lips were warm and soft; deep down I knew I wanted this, but closer to the surface, I knew I needed to stop. I wrapped my arms around her waist, feeling her hands in my hair. The tears that were dripping onto my arms were coming from her. This was what she wanted, I knew it. I could feel it in the way her lips moved against mine. She wanted me to stay, so desperately she was trying to prove it all in this one kiss. Her hands slid down my neck and came to rest on my shoulders, pulling me as close to her as I could possibly get. I could feel her nails through my shirt, but I ignored the sting, letting her do as she pleased. This was me repaying her for all the grief I had given her. This was my way of saying sorry for what I knew I would have to do.

"Sasuke," she gasped, pulling back just enough to break the kiss. Her lips moved against mine as she spoke, and I found myself leaning into her again. She shook her head, pressing her hands against my chest, stopping my advance. I stared down at her, feeling my face contort into an expression of confusion. "Please don't leave me. If you don't leave, I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. I'll do whatever you ask of me. All I ask of you is that you stay with me, stay with your family."

_Stay with your family. _I grimaced and closed my eyes shut as tightly as I could. That hurt more than she probably realized. My family was dead, and yet, when I looked into her eyes, I saw something different than the future I had lain out for myself. It was one with a similar scene as this, though we were older, and there were little pink and black haired children running around us, grinning from ear-to-ear, calling out those same names I had screamed on that night.

_"Mother! Father!"_

I shook my head and bit my tongue, trying hard to force the scene out of my mind. Slowly it was turning into something I had seen before. There was blood everywhere. I couldn't take it anymore. It was becoming too much. It was beginning to hurt. I opened my eyes and gasped, releasing Sakura and clutching at my chest, doubling over as the scene became oh-so real. I was reliving it right there, right in front of her. I could hear her calling my name, wanting to know what was wrong. Did she need to call for someone? Was I okay?

"Stop…" I gasped, shaking my head. I glanced up at her, trying desperately to strengthen my resolve. I reached up and grabbed her shoulder with my left hand and pressed my right hand against her stomach. She stared at me with wide eyes, that same concern and love for me that I didn't deserve filling them. I grimaced and balled my right hand into a fist, pulling it back. "I'm sorry."


End file.
